I think everyone would agree this version of 2020 was not the year we signed up for when we turned the calendar page on January first.
First, a pandemic shut down our country and tried to erase hope and joy. As we’ve become a little more comfortable living in the “new different”, we are confronted with where our hearts and thoughts really stand when it comes to racism.
We are not the first generation to grapple with inequality in a nation where everyone was declared equal.
Having teenaged sons who ask questions has been stretching. I want to explore the heart issues, the realities that go much deeper than the soundbites we catch as headlines scroll across our home page.
Talking with our sons, who are old enough to think through the painful realities, is important to this mama. Wanting to help them glimpse people who are different through eyes of love will require many conversations.
And being the one whose first inclination is to shield her children from confrontation and danger . . . this stretches me far beyond my comfort zone. When one son asked if he could join in the protests happening in our city, my first instinct was to say, “Are you kidding me?! No way! That’s dangerous!”
But, how would this response help him think through the nuances of his motivations? How would this help him explore what he truly believes? Hubs and I asked a few questions. I so appreciate that my boy-man wants to support those with little-to-no-voice.
At this point in our year, I find my heart broken for people who have been treated so unjustly. I have found myself in tears and in prayer for the families and the situations I know of . . . and I am certain that the situations with George Floyd and Breonna Taylor are only a minute glimpse of the vast injustices that have occurred in our country, “the home of the free, the land of the brave.”
I’m not going on a diatribe here about one side or the other with the issue of racial injustice. I’m also not going to place my hands over my eyes and ears and attempt to block out the truth. I’m trying to discern how to love well.
More than ever, I find myself praying. Praying for the families who have lost loved ones to racial injustice. Praying for the friends who grieve the lost connections with those who have been killed. Praying for lawmakers and authorities to see how imperative it is that change begins somewhere. And quite probably with them.
I find myself praying for the good men and women on the police force who seek to do right by everyone, regardless of the color of their skin. Praying for everyone’s hearts to be broken and softened toward their fellow man.
I’m praying that we learn how to hold onto hope.
Our Father is the only One who can move hearts and spirits. He is the One Person in whom we can hope.
Instead of shrinking into my small life, I’m seeking to listen. To read. To seek to better understand the stories and experiences of people of color.
Until we ask our Father to help us see others through His eyes, with His love, we will be doomed to fall into being too quick to judge. To limiting our understanding. I don’t want to be that person.
So in this very different 2020, I choose to pray about where God wants me. And then I’m going to act. I’m not sure what that looks like yet. But it’s past time to move beyond the shores of my comfort into the seas of obedience to my Father in faith.
What about you? What’s one thing you’re learning this year? Where is God moving you beyond your comfort zone?
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