Infertility, Surrender, Trusting God

Heart: 4 Steps for Dealing With Idols

Picture of a valley leading down to the ocean with high mountainous walls on each side

@JeanneTakenaka

I slumped on our bed and cried. 

Every month, I careened on an emotional roller coaster. Every month, I prayed, begging God for a baby. Every month, when my cycle came on time, my heart plummeted.

I don’t remember the exact day or event when God confronted me. But He showed me where my heart was set.

…on a pregnancy

…on filling my arms with a squirming newborn

…on having my heart craving satisfied.

And that was the problem.

Continue reading “Heart: 4 Steps for Dealing With Idols”
God's Love, Infertility, Trials

Love: When We Question God’s Love

A woman standing with two young children near a pond

@JeanneTakenaka

Many years ago, as Hubs and I stumbled through the valley of infertility, I struggled a lot with the Lord. I faced well-intentioned loved ones who told me I just needed more faith, and then we’d get pregnant. 

But more, I questioned that God loved me as much as He loved other people. 

If He loved me, why did He withhold this heart desire? Why did he not fulfill the innate yearning to carry a pregnancy to term and to nurture a child? 

I still remember the day. 

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Faith, Perspective, Waiting

Waiting: When the Waiting is Hard

A white grouping of trees on an overcast, snowy day.

@JeanneTakenaka

Many years ago, our oldest wouldn’t wake up one morning. It wasn’t stubbornness on his part. He was feverish, lethargic, and simply couldn’t stay awake. I let him sleep. But as the clock ticked toward noon and I couldn’t rouse him even for a drink of water, my mama’s heart revved as worry dug in deep.

God allowed us to get a same-day appointment with our doctor. I hefted my unconscious boy into his office. Long story short, he thought it would be best to take Peter to the ER. 

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One Word, Uncategorized

2020: One Word

Image of Diamond Head in Hawaii on a partly cloudy day

@JeanneTakenaka

Happy New Year! And not only a new year but a new decade. 2019 was a year of stretching and trusting. Teenaged boys have given me a lot of practice in learning how to trust God.

My One Word for 2019 was LIVE.

I thought my word would have me focusing on choosing to live in each moment instead of looking too far ahead and managing my days rather than living out the moments of my days. 

But, God has ways of bringing out other facets from the lessons we think we’re going to learn. 

Continue reading “2020: One Word”