Sometimes, I’m a poser.
Oh sure, I tell people to pray for their children, their husbands, and the heart needs they each have. I tell them God hears, and He answers each and every prayer. Sometimes, it’s with a “Yes.” Other times, the answer is, “No.” And then there’s the “Not yet,” answer.
I believe these truths with all my heart. I know that I know I am a daughter of the King . . . that He loves me completely, passionately, and perfectly. I know we must choose faith.
And still . . .
A few weeks ago, as our pastor shared his message, God convicted me. We had just discovered a character issue in one of the boys, and my heart was broken. I was fearful that, if we didn’t help him get it under control, he could end up in prison one day. Yes, I know. That could be a reach, but it’s conceivable.
Fear rolled over my thoughts. My heart.
It tried to tell me I had to do all these things and wring my hands in despair and . . . remain helpless while this boy I love walks on his merry little way living in this character issue.
As I mulled over these thoughts, God challenged me. He showed me how I pray for others’ children and health scares and life issues. But do I pray in faith?
And, when it comes to my husband and our boys where’s my faith?
It must be in myself, otherwise, fear wouldn’t have the upper hand in my thoughts.
Oh, I was convicted. I’ve prayed for the boys’ hearts since they were small. But, they’re teens. They’re trying out belief systems, pushing boundaries to see which ones stand firm. They’re growing into men before my eyes . . . and sometimes I’m terrified.
That’s the question fear asks.
God showed me I wasn’t trusting Him to be God in their lives. My desire for them to walk with Him is so strong. But they have to want it too. And what if they don’t?
See? There it is again. What. If.
In these seasons, we have a choice. We can let fear dictate our thoughts, which will direct our hearts and lead us to depression and discouragement.
Or we can turn to the Lord in faith. We can choose to trust that He’s holding us and our loved ones in the palm of His hand. He already knows our first day to our last, and He’s orchestrating His plans—His good plans—in our lives.
Will choosing to put our faith in God over ourselves guarantee that everything goes smoothly? Not in this life!
Knowing He’s in control makes all the difference. If this boy does continue on a path that leads to bad places, God will still be watching over Him. I have to trust Him.
I wish I could say that everything got sorted out after that morning and that the boy made an about-face and is now walking tight with Jesus. But I try not to lie.
A few days later, I learned some very difficult things that, again, had me terrified. But this time, when I recognized fear’s whispers, I asked God to help me choose faith. As we walk through some uncertain times, I’m getting better at remembering God’s got this. He’s in control, and He’s watching over our boys.
“Choose faith over fear” is on repeat in my mind these days. I choose to trust God that, if one or both of our sons walk away from Him for a time, He’ll never leave them. He knows the plans He has for them too. They are His sons even more than they’re mine. He loves them more than Hubs and I do.
And I have faith that my Father is in control of our sons’ lives. Whether or not they know it.
What about you? When have you had to choose faith over fear? What helps you to walk in faith consistently?