I was going through a hard season with one of our boys. Fights, angry words, hatred in the eyes because of every word I spoke. I was the loser-mom in his eyes.
His hard heart about broke mine.
The back talk, the disrespect, the hate-laced words gouged holes my spirit until it felt as pocked as the moon.
This wasn’t a day’s worth of struggle. This was weeks. The constant ripping apart within me left me depleted and weary.
No parent ever gets out of this journey without scars. We all bear them. Eventually, they may cover over with new skin. The hurt will decrease.
But in those first days of the ripping apart? The wide-open wound stings with every breath, every word spoken.
Each of us faces battles. Whether it’s with rebellious children. Discouragement. A lost job and not finding a new one. Sickness.
We’re all facing something.
The thing is? We can’t just opt out. We have to fight through.
And the battle wears us down. Sometimes, our understanding of God grows distorted.
We come to the place where we can’t see beyond our immediate circumstances.
Everything presses hard upon us, squeezing out our life-breath.
When we’ve fought and battled and poured out the essence of who we are?
When we feel we have nothing left?
Like we’ve lost everything?
When hope seems to have fled?
That is when we must remember that we are never hope-less. Because we know the One who is the Hope-Giver.
Sometimes the battle feels unwinnable.
Sometimes, winning comes in the breathing the next breath . . .
In the clinging to the Lord . . .
Even when circumstances don’t seem to change.
It’s in the times when we feel hopeless—when maybe we even question if Jesus is with us—that we most need to turn to Him.
He’s with us, regardless of whether or not we feel Him.
God. is. with. us.
When the battle wears us out. Breaks us down . . . It’s in these times when we must look beyond the darkness. To the One who is the Creator of light.
He sees us.
He cares for us.
He declares His love over us.
He is our safe place, the One in whom we can place our hope.
Our emotions may call this out as a lie. But, our emotions lie.
Our hearts must choose Jesus over discouragement. Over despair. Over defeat.
When we’re in the throes of a battle—physical, emotional, spiritual, mental—we must remember this: We are not alone.
Our Lord is with us. He strengthens us. He speaks love over us.
When it seems He is silent, we must trust what we know, rather than what we feel. He has promised to never leave or forsake us. He is quiet in His love.
When the battle bores down hard on all of who we are, we need to cling to His truth, not give in to the lies.
This will defeat us.
Battles have a beginning point. And they have an end.
And when we reach the other side of that battle, we will know God more intimately. We will not be shaken as easily the next time.
We will shine more brightly, for Jesus’ light prevailed within us.
As for my boy? I poured out my heart to the Lord about him, about the situations. I confessed my hurt and my confusion. My ineptitude as a mom.
My boy came through that season. His heart—his teenage solar flare calmed—and his joy returned.
And He, my faithful, perfect Father, spoke the words I needed to hear to persevere. He knows how to strengthen each of us in the battle. We just need to bring our hearts to Him.
What about you? What lessons have you learned in battle? How do you persevere when the hard seasons seem never-ending?
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