For decades I believed a lie.
And though I’ve talked about it here before, I’m just now seeing how much I hid behind that lie. The lie that I am not enough. That I am less-than. That rejection defined me as a Loser with a capital L.
As I became friends with people, I waited for them to confirm that lie. For them to prove to me in some way that I was really and truly less than.
Looking back now, it’s amazing how easy it was to perceive actions in ways that was inaccurate. I saw everything through that lens of rejection.
In Isaiah 29 (see vss 14-18, 29) God talks about how the scoffers made a lie their refuge.They made a covenant with death in order to try and escape the judgment God was bringing. They thought they could avoid God’s wrath by hiding behind falsehood.
Isaiah’s words were directed to the rulers of Jerusalem.
Though these words were written centuries ago, truth still rings through them. We still hide behind lies today. No, most of us don’t rule our cities (though some of us may wish we did!).
The lies I’m talking about center more around what we believe about God and ourselves.
When we’re children, we hear and internalize words from others. We interpret—and sometimes misinterpret—actions and attach meaning to them that may never have been intended. I’m not minimizing situations when abuse is inflicted through words or deed. These leave devastating wounds on a child’s heart and identity.
The words and actions of people shape how we see ourselves from the time we are children. And it often takes a lifetime for truth to erase those lies and be chiseled onto the walls of our minds.
And this is where God comes in.
He loves us.
He’s seen the things done and said to us, and He longs for us to allow Him to clean and purify the walls of our thoughts.
His word tells us what He thinks about us.
We are chosen.
We are beloved.
We are precious in His sight.
Sometimes, though, it’s easier to keep believing the lies that defined us.
It’s easier to believe the worst about ourselves and to hide within the darkness of that identity than it is to step into the light of God’s truth.
It’s easier to believe we are less-than than to risk believing that someone could actually love us that much. Believing that He could see us as beautiful, treasured, as having worth.
I don’t think God is going to judge us for hiding behind our lies the way He did with the leaders of Jerusalem back in that day. But, I think we might grieve Him by not believing what He says about us.
I tell my boys I love them all the time. But there are times when they push those words back in my face. They can’t believe I would love them. That hurts my heart.
How much more do we hurt God’s heart by telling Him, “Sure You love me. I don’t believe you, God. I don’t believe you see me as valuable.”
When that happens, we have a choice. Are we going to erect more lies to cover ourselves?
Or are we going to begin to look at ourselves in the light of God’s word?
Are we going to hide our faces? Or can we, just maybe, begin to look at the lies we’ve believed and begin to bring them before God?
He’s kind of a funny Father. He wants our holiness more than our hiding places. Our whole-ness more than our excuses.
When we are willing to trust our Father, He can begin to help us see those lies for what they are: manipulative words intended to hold us in a place of bondage.
It isn’t easy to confront those lies we’ve hidden behind. It can be downright difficult to come to terms with why we began internalizing them. And it can feel beyond risky to begin believing that there could be a more affirming way to define ourselves.
But God . . .
Let’s step out of those tissue paper refuges and begin trusting God to bring healing, shall we?
What about you? What truths has God spoken over you? How have you seen God’s love in your life?