Control, Five Minute Friday scribblings

Abandon: Living Abandoned or With Abandon

+Jeanne Takenaka @JeanneTakenaka

Five Minute Friday prompt this week is—ABANDON. This largely unedited “rough draft” form of writing stretches this perfectionist, in the best of ways. I write for five minutes on a given topic. If you’re interested in learning more about 5-Minute Fridays, check out our hostess, Kate Motaung’s site. Or, click on the link at the bottom of this post. As you read my simpler Friday posts, I hope you’ll join in the conversation!


I’ll never forget the expression on our two-year old’s face when he thought we’d abandoned him. The terror, the people circling around him as his frantic eyes searched for us. I scooped him in my arms and tried to comfort him, but it took a long time.

How many times have I walked into a situation where I felt like an orphan abandoned?

Feeling that sense of abandonment does wretched things to a spirit. We feel the need to control everything. We’ll do anything to not feel abandoned.

The hard thing is when we grow up, and we’re still trying to control everything, we end up sacrificing intimacy with others—and with God—in our attempt to feel safe.

That’s the tricky thing about God. He is not one we can control. When we come into a relationship with Him, we have to choose.

We can only go as deep in intimacy with Him as we are willing to relinquish our perceived control.

When we let go of a little control, God moves into the space we have left open to Him.

But we have to trust Him. We have to believe that He loves us and that He only allows those things into our lives that will benefit us . . . sooner or later.


As we release the grip we’ve had on our lives,

. . . as we choose to trust Him,

. . . we begin to live life with a beloved child’s mindset. Not in an orphan’s mindset.

When we trust our Father to do what’s good in our lives, we can go from living abandoned to living with abandon.

When we allow God into all the areas of our lives, He transforms us. Sometimes it’s immediate, but more often transformation is a work in progress.


Instead of frantically looking around—like my son—we can look with confidence or at least peace.

Even when the hard comes.

Even when we have no control.

Because when we know and trust the One . . . when we look to Him we are never abandoned. We’re never invisible.

What about you? When have you chosen to live with abandon? What lessons have you learned by living knowing you are loved by God?

Click to Tweet: When we allow God in He transforms

I’m linking up with Kate Motaung’s Heading Home Five Minute Friday—Abandon

37 thoughts on “Abandon: Living Abandoned or With Abandon”

  1. HI
    I don’t know how you write so much in 5 minutes. Wow. I love your meme. It’s fabulous. Yes I felt the same way – I have to abandon myself to Him – give it over to be able to live free and clear. I love living a life of abandon.


    1. Janis, it’s so nice to meet you! When I know where I’m going with something, I can type pretty fast. When I don’t know where I’m going . . . ? Well, that’s a different story. 🙂 There’s something freeing about abandoning ourselves into God’s care, isn’t there? I’m learning how to live that way more and more as I grow older. Thank you so much for stopping by!


  2. ..beautiful..there is such a peace in knowing that God will never abandon us and that we have nothing to fear. Thank you for this.


  3. Great post, Jeanne. I’ve never lived with abandon; I’m pretty controlled and deliberate in what I do.

    And I do have experience in dealing with those who feel they have been abandoned by God and man. Seeing the faces of those who already counted themselves dead, after their oppressors have been very harshly dealt with, is the best experience one can have in this life. It’s a re-birth.

    #2 at FMF this week.


    1. jeanne, I hope I may be permitted a follow-on comment…pursuant to the second part of my original, there’s a poem by Housman that really says it all:

      These in the day when Heaven was falling,
      the hour when Earth’s foundations fled,
      followed their mercenary calling
      and took their wages and are dead.

      Their shoulders held the sky suspended;
      they stood, and Earth’s foundations stay.
      What God abandoned, these defended
      and saved the sum of things for pay.

      I suspect that every mercenary, active or (like me) in reserve, has that poem memorized.


    2. I believe you are very intentional in what you do, Andrew. And I am certain you have brought hope to people you helped, both in your past life and in your current one. I confess, though, some of the “wild” things you’ve written about having done made me wonder if you had moments of living with abandon.

      And, of course you can always share a follow on comment. I appreciate the poem you shared. I can see how it was meaningful for the work you did. Thanks for the glimpse you gave us.


  4. Jeanne,
    I needed to read this post as I feel my grip trying to tighten so as to control things…control my out of control situation. I need to choose to let go so that i can return to peace and live with abandon. Thank you for this reminder to trust God to do what is good, in His will, in my life.
    Bev xx


    1. Bev, it’s so hard to live a life of “hands-off” with the Lord, sometimes! May we both continue to grow in trusting God and living with abandon with Him. I always appreciate your transparency here. Thank you, friend!


  5. When we allow God into all the areas of our lives, He transforms us. Sometimes it’s immediate, but more often transformation is a work in progress.<—Wow…That is good stuff lady! I am reading before writing this week. I love that your words have sparked a story of my own to pop into my head. Perhaps I'll share later on my blog. I love that our kids and we as God's kids are never abandoned. Thanks for that reminder! ❤ Jenn


    1. Isn’t it fun when others’ words spark a story, Jennifer? I’m glad you found something here to help you. And yes, the knowing that we’ll never be abandoned is such a comforting reality. I thank God often for His promise to never leave or forsake us. I so appreciate you stopping by!


  6. I love the multiple meanings of this week’s word…. To give up and to live freely. Such a reminder of our relationship with God! When I abandon my need for control, I live with abandon in God’s amazing freedom! Your words are like a devotional this morning.


    1. Agreed, Annie. There are so many places to take this week’s word! I love how you phrased it, when we abandon our need for control, we can live with abandon in God’s amazing freedom. Thanks for your encouragement! Grateful for you, friend.


    1. Barbie, it’s hard to let go of the past, isn’t it? Just when I think I’ve let go of it, God shows me another thing/memory my fingers are tightly wrapped around. I’m with you—so thankful He’s promised to never abandon us. And His patience? Oh, yes. I’m very thankful for that. 🙂


  7. “When we trust our Father to do what’s good in our lives, we can go from living abandoned to living with abandon.” Such a vast difference in these two, isn’t there? As Barbie writes, it is a journey, especially when we have a difficult past. I, too, am thankful God is so patient with me and will never abandon me. I am learning to trust God’s faithful character rather than how I feel at times. Thank you for these thoughts, Jeanne. I long to live with abandon always, flying free in Jesus. Have a blessed, restful weekend! Hugs!


    1. Trudy, sometimes it’s hard to look beyond what our feelings are telling us and cling tight to God’s truths. I think this is part of the transformation, don’t you? As we consciously make different choices in how we perceive and receive information and relationships, we can grow to look more like Jesus. When we choose Him over what our feelings tell us, He works more transformation in us. May we both grow in believing God’s faithfulness over the strength of our emotions. Have a great weekend, friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. great post jeanne:) reminds me of the times in my life when i felt abandoned…not by GOD, but by other important people in my life. it’s a terrible feeling as illustrated by your son:( blessings this week! i’m at 48.


    1. Yes, Martha. That feeling of being abandoned is terrifying. I think that is why, once I really began to understand God’s promise to never leave or forsake me, I could see the depth of His love for me, and for each of His children. Thanks for the reminder that most, if not all, of us have been there.


  9. Jeanne, great work using the word with two different nuances. I did that too but with a another nuance. I am finally beginning to learn to live with more abandon. Freedom comes when we loosen our grip. Love this: “we begin to live life with a beloved child’s mindset. Not in an orphan’s mindset.” I want to remember that.

    “When we trust our Father to do what’s good in our lives, we can go from living abandoned to living with abandon.” Hope is found here,


    1. Stephanie, it’s interesting how many different facets of meaning a word can possess, isn’t it? As I grow and mature, I am learning how to lean into God’s truths and to live from that place of trusting Him. It’s only as I (we) do this that we can live in the freedom that enables abandon. Thank you so much for sharing a piece of your story here.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Releasing the grip: that can be so difficult. But it is the only way to really experience all that God has for us, all of which is good. Thanks for your reflection here: I really appreciate it.


  11. Loved this: “When we trust our Father to do what’s good in our lives, we can go from living abandoned to living with abandon.” That’s such a powerful statement about choice; we can choose the state in which we live… as though abandoned, or with abandon. Depression and despair pressure us to choose the first, but there’s TOO MUCH LIFE TO LIVE not to choose the second. “Trust our Father to do what’s good…”
    Thanks for the great reminder, Jeanne!
    Shauna (in #15 today)


    1. Yes, Shauna. We get to choose how we’re going to live. And as our minds are conformed to Jesus’s, we tend to choose to live in His ways more often than not. May we both choose to live abandoned to Him, rather than with an abandoned mindset. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  12. “We can only go as deep in intimacy with Him as we are willing to relinquish our perceived control.”
    Jeanne, let’s face it, I could underline so much in your post. It is completely compelling. The truth is I truly do desire intimacy with God in a full and compete way but I grip some things so tightly that truly I have no right to anymore.

    I loved this week’s prompt. It really got me thinking. God is good!

    Have a wonderful weekend.


    1. Kelly, it’s a moment by moment choice to release our grips, isn’t it? When we spend more time with God, we want more of Him. When we see the amazing ways He moves in our lives, we eventually find it a little easier to release our grips. As we trust Him with things, He honors that trust, which makes it easier to let go. Each choice has to be based in trust, doesn’t it? Thank you so much for sharing a piece of your heart here!


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