Some days, I find it so easy to forget who I am . . . who God created me to be.
I was reading in Psalm 18:49-50 when it hit me. David knew, and was comfortable with, who God designed him to be.
No doubt, he endured derision from his older brothers when he was the one sent to the fields with the sheep. He heard the cutting remarks from those who were certain they knew better than he. And, he put all of himself into working with those sheep.
Yet, when Samuel called for him—anointed him king—David knew how to walk in that, as well. Why? Because David already had a vibrant relationship with the Lord. He worshiped in the meadows. He trusted God to help him care for the sheep entrusted to him. He must have spent many lonely hours in the pastures talking with God.
Years later, when he was running from Saul, he cried out to his Abba. He rested in the truths he knew about God. And, he knew who he was before God. He reminds himself through the written word that:
“God gives great deliverance to His king. He shows lovingkindness to His anointed.” (Psalm 18:50, NASB)
David didn’t doubt that God had anointed him as the king of Israel. When Saul chased him throughout the countryside, David didn’t question that God had made him king.
This spoke to me because I struggle with embracing the callings God places on my life.
Wife? Yes, this one comes more easily than others, perhaps because I’ve been practicing this role for almost twenty years.
Mother? It’s tempting to take my eyes off the Lord and place them on those around me. Those moms who attend and cheer at every one of their son’s football games? I’ve made exactly one game this season. Those moms whose kids seem so mature? What’s wrong with my mothering style that my kids are still immature?
Friend? Am I being the best friend I can be? I’m not always physically present at events. I forget to touch base with those I consider close. Or, my time is used in other ways. And we all only have twenty-four hours. Am I prioritizing things wrongly?
Writer? Ahh, this one God is redefining for me. After dealing with doubt from some things that happened recently, am I really a writer? When I miss my boy’s games because I’m attending writing-related meetings, am I doing the right thing?
Oh, the questions, the doubts, the condemnation . . . they’re so quick to rise up in my thoughts and swirl until everything in my mind is a questioning, muddled mess.
This happens when my eyes sway from Jesus to comparison.
When my eyes are on the Lord . . .
. . . when my heart is pursuing Him and keeping Him first,
. . . it’s so much easier to walk in confidence that I’m right where I’m supposed to be in all the roles I live.
When disappointments come . . .
. . . when I see everything others are doing and then question if I’m where I should be?
That’s when the muddle happens. The doubt comes in.
I want to be more like David—confident in the callings God has gifted me. Trusting Him to enable me to fulfill those callings.
Keeping my heart’s eyes trained on Jesus is the only way I’ll be able to walk in confidence.
Each of these are a gift, And they’re answers to years of prayer.
Growing in my relationship with Him, worshiping Him, spending time in His word and in His presence is what will solidify my confidence to walk in the roles God has given me.
What about you? What helps you walk in confidence in your roles? How do you battle comparison?