What would you do if you knew the number of your days?
Most of us know we’re going to die at some point in time. Many will die in their older years. But what if you discovered the number of days you had left to live? How would it change you?
Someone I’ve known for awhile received a diagnosis. This person has lived a full life . . . made wonderful friends, created cherished memories.
What is one to do with the un-lived dreams? With the unfinished projects?
How does one bring closure to unsettled relationships?
I’ve been contemplating these thoughts as I realize that this loved one’s days are numbered.
I’m in my forties. I’ve probably lived at least half my life, perhaps more. But I can’t help thinking I’ve still got lots of years left to live. Yes, this is human perspective, not necessarily God’s perspective.
My goal the past few years has been to live life with no (more) regrets. It’s not easy . . . living in such a way that, if I was to die tomorrow, I could leave behind this legacy.
I haven’t done so well. Some days, my priorities are out of whack. My focus is on the tasks rather than the relationships that are the most dear to me.
My words spout out before I can filter them with grace.
My heart holds onto hurts—knowingly or not, inflicted—rather than choosing forgiveness.
Relationships die when forgiveness is withheld. Do I want to live with the regret of holding onto a hurt forever, rather than choosing forgiveness when the opportunity to express it was there?
What if I knew the number of my days?
What would I be doing differently now?
As I consider the changes a diagnosis sews into the fabric of relationships, I’m challenged. Convicted even, to do things differently.
Honestly, I’m just now thinking through some of this, so I don’t have great words of wisdom.
I only know that before I live my last day—whenever that is—I want to know that I’ve made things right with the people I’m able to do this with.
I want it to be said that I loved well. For a smile to come to the faces of those who know me. I don’t want to be remembered for how much I accomplished, but for how much I loved. How fully I lived. And yes, for being one who reflects Jesus to the world around her.
It’s easy to live life within the safe confines of a comfort zone. It’s the place I’ve spent most of my days. But is this the best place to live?
Or is it better to live on the edges of life, trusting God with each step taken, each decision made?
How do I make my days count?
- Keep my eyes on Jesus first. Spend time with Him in His word, in prayer each day.
- Keep my priorities straight. God, husband, children—These come first. Then, in varying order: job, others, tasks.
- Be intentional about how I spend my time. Facebook and social media are a lure. I need to be picky in how I spend the hours in my day, using the time wisely. I don’t know how many days I have here on earth. I want them to count.
- Keep short accounts of wrongs. Holding onto hurts—not forgiving others’ offenses—leads to bitterness in my own spirit. It hinders relationships even with those I love.
- Say yes to the things God shows me to do. Giving Him the keys to my life scares me. I like being in control of “my” life. But when I say yes to Him, I’m saying yes to what He deems most important for me. Sometimes that means saying no to other things. And that’s okay.
Am I living all these right now? Not completely. But, I’m working on it.
I want my days—however many I have left—to count for eternity. I want them to speak and show life to those who people my world.
What about you? How do you make your days count? What would you change if you knew the number of your days?