What’s your language of love? No, I’m not talking about French, Italian or Spanish. My hubby and I had been married less than a year when we came across a book called, The Five Love Languages, by Dr. Gary Chapman. In it, Dr. Chapman describes the five languages as Acts of Service, Physical Touch (not just sexual), Gifts, Quality Time and Words of Affirmation.
He says most people function in one main language and may operate in another.
Hubby and I discovered we “speak” two different languages when it comes to expressing and receiving love. My husband read about two sentences before determining he is an Acts of Service guy. I told him I speak all five languages, especially when it comes to receiving them. What girl doesn’t want to be given a gift just because, or have her man focus all his attention on her, or serve her breakfast in bed with a flower on the tray, or just hold her hand with no expectation, or tell her she’s beautiful?
After he pulled himself up off the floor from laughing so hard, he asked me what my primary love language was. My thoughts wandered back to a fight we had shortly before becoming engaged. What I wanted most at the end of that argument was to know that he still loved me. And, to hear him say it. Words of Affirmation is my love language. This isn’t the only way this language is spoken, but for me it was huge. He has studied me over the years, asked questions about the most meaningful ways he can love me. He expresses affirming words daily. One of the biggest ways he’s done this is through encouraging and supporting me on my writing journey. He’s amazing.
When I do small things, like make his lunch for work the next day, he feels loved. Keeping the house straightened up, cooking supper and serving it at a decent hour, and looking for little ways I can help him all speak love to him. Giving him down time at the end of a stressful workday is another way I love him. He’s an introvert by nature, so having alone moments before supper gives him time to recharge.
We are students of each other. Looking beyond my own daily list of to-do’s to see how I can bless his day speaks his love language. Doing these things is easier because he’s so good at loving me by heart.
What about you? How do you give and receive love? What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned in loving?